Living in Deeptime: Releasing Expectations and Opening to Possibilities
We are, quite literally, part of a process that began 13.8 billion years ago. The complete story of the origin and evolution of Universe remains a mystery … and why wouldn’t it be? It’s a story of infinite potential coming-into-being through seen and unseen, instantaneous and gradual, progression across all space and time. And, I repeat, we are participants in that miraculous and extremely tumbly process. In my world, it feels like things are happening at rocket speed and taking forever, all at the same time. How ‘bout for you?
Webb's First Deep Field (Galaxy Cluster SMACS 0723), NASA & STScI
Increasingly, over the past few years I’ve been immersed in a profound learning curve. I am finding that being raised with a privileged and Western perspective story of linear progression (“If you do this, then that will follow.”), predictability (“It wasn’t supposed to rain today.”), physical comfort (“What do you mean there’s no hot water?!”), and separation (“You’re on your own.”) has had me unready and unsteady to deal with the level of dynamic, uncertain, uncomfortable, interconnected reality of personal and global transformation that is Right Now. This mindfulness bell has been a loud-and-clear call to Wake Up and Grow Up.
At the same time, I’ve found myself connecting with Life and Living Beings in new and unimagined ways. I’ve begun to experience miraculous synchronicities, to delight in pleasant surprises (while becoming curious in not-so-pleasant ones), to sit-in-the-grit of discomfort, and to realize a profound sense of belonging. Granted, I’m not at 100% in any of these arenas (after all, “perfection” is an illusion), but I’m hovering steady at 80% and practicing everyday. This mindfulness bell has been an invitation to Open Up.
I would say that a primary factor in this shift has been how I am in relationship with what is happening. As I have begun to experience Living as a process – the flow of one thing following another – in its own time, with its own outcome, my focus shifts to direction rather than a specific end result. My guiding questions have become:
What response/action/tending/attitude supports the way I want to be/show-up in the world?
How can I align with my highest values and meet this situation with compassion and curiosity?
Where is my center of gravity in this decision – Is it ego-, eco-, or evo-centric?
What are the seeds that I am planting right now?
This mindfulness bell has been a reminder to Clean Up.
I have come to realize that I may not be around to see the world I want to live in (a big change in my expectations), but, as everything/body is connected to everything/body, how I am being in relationship with right-now matters because I’m planting seeds for what will emerge in the future. These days, I am living my life not-so-much-about-me, but as a participant in a much larger picture.
Through recent science, we now know that we are part of a personal, collective, and universal creative process – laying tracks and increasing probabilities for what emerges in the future. What-we-do and how-we-are-being matters far beyond our personal realm. Within this Deeptime perspective, I’m living life as a continuous process of transformation, adaptation, and growth, in awareness that every aspect of Life is shaped-by and shapes every other aspect. This mindfulness bell continues to beckon me to Show Up.
It’s not been an easy, comfortable, or crowded road, but it is the road that I am choosing.
And, here I am … feeling very alive and connected with you, free of expectations in a field of possibilities.
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass the world is too full to talk about.” ― Rumi
Marianne
